it's never been this easy. i'm really not sure how to handle skipping down the hall in pure glee just because. i'm not sure how to deal with conversations that don't have to mean anything, they just do. i'm sure it's disgustingly adorable because everything is just good. it's never like this. i should be waiting for the next mood swing, or an insecure freak out, i should prepare myself for "the inevitable", something should be wrong with him, something should be wrong with me, we should be writing unhealthy words of woe or what have you, we should be feeding off of the other's neurosis...
sometimes i try talking myself out of him. i say it's because it's going to be too hard, but that's not really the reason. i try to talk myself out of him because i don't want to put forth the effort, i don't want to invest anything, expect anything. i don't care enough about most situations to put myself in that one again.
but the truth is we don't even have to try.
the way i end up feeling is ultimately in my own hands. i have the ability to avoid everything that i am doing or feeling. but i'm not going to.
because he already makes me so insanely happy.