the last one was my dad who told me about my mom going to kentucky to be with my grandpa because he's not doing well.
i don't even know if my mother is home yet. i haven't talked to her in about a month.
i don't know how anyone is.
it just hit me that it's fucking weird to go months at a time without speaking to anyone in yr family. and it's not like we haven't talked because we don't get along - we do. that's maybe why it's so weird to me that we never fucking speak.
i'm also apparently feeling guilty or something about this because the other nite i had the most fucked up dream.
i was at some kind of party, and all my friends were sitting around eating pizza. (pizza party!?) i was standing, and my dad was standing nearby me, holding a little boy. he turned, and i saw that the little boy was my brother (who is actually 17). but he was tiny & shriveled up, and terribly, terribly ill.
so i freaked out, and started grabbing all the pizza. i was taking pizza out of people's hands and out of the boxes, and giving it to my brother because he needed food.
the panic and fear i felt in this dream were awful.
i woke up with tears in my eyes.
i should call them.